By: Amanda Frittz
Do you know what’s ironic? Earlier this year I would have told you I didn’t want to pregnant for at least another year. Now, just a few months have passed and I am wishing for two lines to appear on every pregnancy test I take. Which is a lot by the way!
Our Change of Hearts
About four months ago Adam and I started a new church that consists of a lot of young families. Soon after joining this church we got an intense case of baby fever. I believe our sudden heart change reveals the work God was doing in our hearts and how we viewed having children.
We originally wanted to get things in “order” and have some us time before starting for children but we realized that was kind of silly. Sure, we could always be more prepared but our finances are fine and we dated for a couple years before getting married. We already had plenty of us time.
After our quick change of
Our Journey Trying to Get Pregnant
We went from wanting to wait to wanting results like yesterday. Adam and I are used to immediate results after all… two-day delivery… am I right!?
That being said, I didn’t even consider that I might have to wait. I know, that probably sounds quite entitled but it’s true. My mom and sister both got pregnant quite easily so I never imagined having to try more than a month or two myself. If anything, I was more concerned about the idea of having a miscarriage than getting pregnant.
Now four months later I am realizing that I am not one of those women who just have to look at their husbands and they conceive. I know to some of you, four months will sound like nothing and you may be offended by me even writing this post. However, even though it’s a small chunk of time, it has still been a struggle to accept.
How I Find Comfort in Waiting
Ultimately, I do trust God’s timing, but that doesn’t mean I’m not sad every month I get a negative result. I think it’s okay to have a set amount of time to feel sad and mourn the fact that you aren’t pregnant as long as you can accept it, trust God, and move on.
Yes I know, easier said than done. Trust me, I have psyched myself every month getting my hopes up with “this will be the month I get pregnant” on autoplay in my head. My body has even joined in by playing tricks on my mind. Not only have I had unpredictable cycles, but my body temperatures are all over the place too. Making my cycle one heck of a mess to track.
Monthly Updates to Come
I know this story is a lot of peoples story. However, I also know it can feel lonely not being able to conceive right away. Especially, when you are surrounded by people that are blessed with babies immediately.
That’s why I wanted to share our journey we’re going on with you guys. For better or the same I will be doing a monthly update on our journey of trying to conceive.
Throughout this journey I believe God is teaching me patience and to trust his timing. After all, all our children are God’s children first.
Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”