By: Amanda Frittz
Hellos ladies! Today we’re going to talk about some super practical ways that you can be a better wife starting today. These were all husband approved – and are things that I believe every marriage would benefit from.
Compliment & Affirm Your Husband
Who doesn’t love words of affirmation? It is such an encouragement to hear what you’re doing right. Especially, when more often than not the focus is on what you could be doing differently or better.
Today I challenge you to take the time to genuinely think of everything you appreciate about your husband and make a list. Over the next 30 days refer back to your list and be intentional to give at least one compliment a day. This will not only boost his self-esteem but more than likely he will reciprocate his appreciation for you. Plus, focusing on what you like about your husband actually makes it easier to be grateful for him and have grace for his “annoying” habits!
Tonight at dinner my husband asked me if I thought he had grown as a leader over the last 6 months. I expressed yes, and told him where I noticed growth. Him having to ask this convicted me that maybe I haven’t expressed my gratitude for his leadership enough, or haven’t taken the time to notice his improvement thoroughly. Our spouses need to hear that they are doing good! Everyone needs affirmation and appreciation in their roles.
Let Him Take the Lead
In order for a man to feel loved they need to feel respected. Part of respecting your husband is to honor the headship that God has appointed him.
Don’t just lead because your husband isn’t. The amount of responsibility you take in your home is the amount your husband never will! If you are leading by default because your husband hasn’t been, he will never feel the need to step up and fulfill a role that’s already being filled. This can quickly leave both of you feeling unsatisfied and resentful of your spouse.
As wives sometimes we consciously have to take a step back and wait for our husbands to step up into their role. This can be scary at first as you wait for him to assume his headship, but he will grow and get more comfortable with it over time. Pray for him and encourage him in this role that he has been appointed. Having your trust and faith will help him be more confident and over time a better leader.
Consider reading, “Should Wives Submit to Their Husband?” and “How to Encourage Your Husband to Spiritually Lead“
Be Engaged & Show Interest
Men need companionship and a playmate to do life with. It’s so important to show interest in what they are interested in!
This doesn’t mean you have to conform to all your husband’s likes and dislikes, but be willing to participate and talk about his hobbies. Showing a genuine interest will make your husband want to come to you for conversation and fun versus only wanting to go to his guy friends.
Something I can be totally guilty of is not investing my full attention on Adam. Often times Adam will walk into the room while I’m reading my Bible or doing chores and start up a conversation with me. If I’m not intentional to stop what I’m doing and show interest I easily can quickly answer him and get back to what I’m doing.
Though my intention is never to reject my husband, that’s how it comes off. It leaves Adam not feeling heard, and makes him not want to come to me to talk. Because of this, I really try to remind myself to stop what I’m doing and be present. I’ll ask questions and try to keep the conversation going, versus trying to make it end so I can get back to what I was doing.
Express Physical Affection
Most men perceive their relationship satisfaction from how they feel their intimate life is doing. If you have a healthy sex life and are getting along well it’s easy for them to be satisfied (whereas women may need more quality time or stimulating conversations).
Since most women typically don’t need sex as much as men to feel satisfied it’s easy to forget about it! Make sure that your husband is not the only one expressing physical affection throughout the day. It’s important for men to feel pursued and desired as well.
I know my husband really appreciates when I initiate any physical intimacy. Even just a hug and a slow kiss can go a long way.
Grow Your Relationship With God
This is by far the most important thing to do to achieve being a better wife, and will, in turn, make doing all the other things easier!
God’s abundance of love and grace is what ultimately transforms our hearts. As we grow our relationship with God we will naturally become better at loving the people around us. Thus, we will become better wives to our husbands. Over time, we will display the fruits of the spirit and our husband will be the main beneficiary to God’s transformative work on our heart.
By prioritizing your relationship with God you will actually be working on improving your marriage along with every other aspect of your life! When your cup is filled it becomes much easier to pour into others graciously.