By: Amanda Frittz
Hey friends! Today we’re going to get a little personal, we’re going to talk about sex.
Anyone who has been trying for more than a month or two, probably knows how easy it is to get in the mindset that sex is just a check off the todo list. But… it’s not!
Sexual fulfillment is a man’s highest need in a relationship (click to find out all his top 5 needs). Guess what? It’s not even in the top five for women!
That’s why it’s so important to be mindful of our mindset on sex while we’re trying for a baby. A man still needs to feel desired, and like you’re in it for the fun of it! It’s a HUGE part of how he feels loved and fulfilled.
Just having sex is not enough. It’s easy to think that while you’re trying for a baby and having intimacy every other night that you are definitely fulfilling his sexual needs. However, that’s not always the case. If it’s obvious that you are only doing it to get pregnant it’s not going to be as enjoyable for him.
Don’t Only Come Onto Your husband When Your Fertile
Adam and I have been trying for about 7 months now, and after the first two or three months of tracking my period I decided to stop. It was stressful, and it was not doing good things for our intimacy.
I would catch myself saying things like, “I’m supposed to be ovulating today so we need to have fun later!” While this isn’t bad occasionally, if it’s the only time you’re making advances on your husband throughout the month you might be building up some insecurities and resentment in your spouse.
You don’t want to make your spouse feel like you only want to have intercourse when you’re fertile.
Don’t Get Caught up on Positions – Switch Things Up!
If you’ve been trying for any time I’m sure you’ve gotten tips from family and friends on certain positions they swear by! I know I have received plenty of tips on what to do before and after intercourse to up my chances.
Don’t get too caught up on the “prime” positions. Allow for spontaneity and fun! If you only allow certain positions each time your spouse is going to know it’s all business for you without you saying a word.
Have fun with it, and know that it will all happen in God’s timing. There’s PLENTY of people who get pregnant doing all the “wrong” positions. You aren’t wasting a chance by having fun and spicing things up!
Enjoy Yourself and Take it Slow!
If something becomes a check on our todo list it’s easy to want to finish it as fast as possible! Don’t make quickies the rule and not the exception!
I can easily get into this mindset if I’m not careful! It’s easy for me to forget how much more I enjoy sex if I am not in a mental rush.
Instead, take extra time to enjoy the experience. Pamper yourself before hand and get relaxed so you can fully absorb yourself into the activity!
Everyone’s different, so try wearing lingerie, taking a bath before, putting on lotion, or anything that soothes you and boosts your confidence!
Sex Starts in The Morning
What are you talking about Amanda? You can start playfully teasing your husband from the minute you wake up. Let him know you want him!
I’m guilty of not being the best at this one. I have to really push myself to be flirtatious. It just does not come naturally for me.
However, I like my husband to know I desire him and am proud that he is my husband. Even simple words of affirmation can be a good way to seduce your man.
Other things I try to do are massages, sitting on his lap, or just, in general, being very touchy-feely.
If you’re feeling bold try whispering something in his ear that you want to do later while you’re out in public. I promise he will be blushing and ready to go home!
Stop Trying & Enjoy Having Sex
Don’t prevent pregnancy, but don’t worry so much about trying!
Focus on enjoying intimacy with your partner and you guys will be doing it frequent enough where you’ll still have a high chance of getting pregnant.
Sex is amazing, and you don’t want your desires of the future to get in the way of enjoying the present.
Just enjoy having sex with your partner. Be grateful of this time of uninterrupted intimacy and soak it up. Every month that I don’t get pregnant I think of all the positives.
Kids are a blessing, but so is having alone time with your spouse! I love being able to drink wine with Adam on date nights and cuddle him for a half hour in the morning. Those are luxuries I won’t always be able to enjoy, so I might as well take time to appreciate them now!