By: Amanda Frittz
We live in a culture that idolizes masculinity, but God sees so much beauty and worth in being feminine.
1 Peter 3:4 “but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.”
Attributes that women are designed to have, like a meek spirit and servant’s heart, are deeply valued in God’s eyes. God treasures women’s
That being said, to truly radiate femininity, I believe we need to look to God’s word because culture’s definition is constantly changing.
Femininity is Taking Care of Your Appearance
1 Peter 3:3 “Do not let your adorning be external–the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear”
But, Amanda doesn’t the Bible say your adorning should not be external? Yes, it totally does, but hear me out.
While appearance surely is not the most important part of femininity, in my personal experience, I have realized it effects how I act in other parts of my role.
I don’t feel confident when being intimate with my husband if I haven’t taken time to groom myself. I don’t want to have guests over, and I don’t feel like I have the day under control.
Being put together is a HUGE factor for how motivated and confident I am in the rest of my duties as a woman. Plus, I know my husband really appreciates when I put effort into my appearance. It makes him feel like I still desire to impress him (this is also part of submitting to my husband)!
If this doesn’t play a factor in your ability to fulfill other areas of your role you can skip this point! However, If you struggle feeling feminine on a daily basis, chances are you aren’t prioritizing taking care of yourself!
I know how much this can affect a women’s confidence first hand. In college, I got in the habit of wearing baggy sweats every day. I didn’t do my hair, and I barely wore makeup. I just didn’t feel womanly anymore.
It wasn’t until I was married that I finally connected the dots. I didn’t feel womanly anymore because I wasn’t playing the part. I wanted to feel desirable and dainty around my husband, but I couldn’t do that in baggy clothing!
Slowly I shifted more energy into picking out outfits, doing my hair, and wearing a light amount of makeup.
My confidence as a wife and keeper of the home goes up substantially as soon as I put on a nice outfit, do my hair, and swipe on some mascara. I feel desirable, and like I’m ready to conquer the day!
Femininity is Being Hospitable
1 Timothy 5:10 ESV “and having a reputation for good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work.”
Part of femininity is being hospitable and having open arms to guests and family.
This is harder than it sounds, and requires planning and being intentional. In order to truly be hospitable you need to care and prioritize others and their needs.
A great example of this is keeping tabs on food allergies, and making meals accordingly. In fact, I know women who even write down the last meal they made for a family so they don’t repeat it the next time they come over.
It’s this kind of extra attention to detail that makes your guests feel taken care of.
Femininity is Being Wise
Titus 2:3 ESV “Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine.”
I know this says older women, but it applies to all women who want to be an example. Even if you’re 20, you’re older than a 15-year-old and have the potential to be an example.
This is so counter culture! Gossiping is the main event of almost any girls get together. No matter the age. I’ve heard women in their 40’s and 50’s gossiping about their husbands.
Unfortunately what’s considered normal in today’s culture is not what was intended to be normal.
There are so many fun things you can do with your friends besides gossiping! It might feel a little daunting at first if that’s all that you’re used to but I promise there are much more fulfilling things to do. Try hosting a women’s night where you cook a meal together, volunteer, do a book study, or whatever interests you.
Femininity is Being a Keeper of Your Home
Titus 2:5 “to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”
Women were created to be man’s helper. We see this in Genesis 2:18 when God says it is not good for man to be alone, and thus makes a helper that is suitable for him.
One of the best ways a woman can help her husband be successful and focus on work is by keeping the home. Having a clean space and meals made is a huge relief to a husband that works all day. It can be crucial to keep them in the right mindset to not only be productive but also to be a family man when they come home.
Last time I went out of town, Adam gained a whole new appreciation for me keeping our home. We only started following our biblical roles within the last 7 or so months, and within that time I don’t think he understood the full weight of everything I did.
He appreciated it, don’t get me wrong. He just didn’t understand how crucial it was to him functioning throughout the day.
As I was out of town he realized how much wasn’t getting done around the house. The amount of work became so overwhelming to him that towards the end of my trip he was so overwhelmed with things to do that he wasn’t able to do anything!
I don’t say this to bash on him by any means. My husband works hard, and I’m super appreciative of all that he does for me.
I only say this to say how crucial me fulfilling my role is to my husband’s success. We are a team, and I love it!
Femininity is Having a Gentle Spirit
1 Peter 3:1-6 ESV “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”
Women are able to win over their husbands by their conduct not by their nagging.
This is probably the hardest thing for me! I like to be in control. Yet, I have realized in moments where I bite my tongue and let my husband lead he is able to grow.
It’s actually beautiful to allow your husband room to grow and become the leader you desire him to be. I know it can be hard sometimes when what you want to do conflicts with what your husband desires, but if you can’t come to a point of agreeing someone has to make the final decision. Try to let your husband make that decision.
Personally, in moments where I’ve let my husband lead us, it has taken a huge weight off my shoulders. I don’t want to be responsible for both of us! That’s a weighty job, and I’d rather let the responsibility fall on him.
I much prefer being a support and helping his plans prosper.
It’s so important to honor our husband’s decisions and be respectful. Even just today Adam asked me to write down our meals for the week so he can know what we’re having. This totally goes against what I want! I like to be spontaneous and choose from the weekly list each day.
However, in order to love him better, I am going to submit to what he needs and has kindly asked me to do.